INS jokes
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
What's brown and hurts your teeth? A chocolate? No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.