Nursery Rhyme jokes
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn't too bad either.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"
Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."
Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.
Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."