INS jokes
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Yo mama’s official weight (in tonnes)
99593927273949592827385959599282738595939282759593827395828192948472937593817294728275957292739584728459398284854982835884838285849292857483838385838294958483823884958383947391959593817495827394858272959573939488492949595837829374758483848497483919396849294858203957293858930375938475937393949292949848215722935375838283848382883839393949583929459939294949493928174759284759927495910305838385848292958293959.
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.
You'd look great With a knife in your back.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.