INS jokes
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
The "f" in orphan is for family.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
They’re talking abt the Mexican slur 💀
Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ICE.
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.