INS jokes
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.