INS jokes

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Position

  • Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

    Probably top.

    Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

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  • Wife

  • My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

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    Pound

  • I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.

    Permission

  • I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

    No one goes in there without my permission!

    Carpet

  • My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"

    Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!

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    Firework

  • My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

    Shit

  • I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

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    Support

  • I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

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  • Priest

  • What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?

    They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.

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    Religion

  • My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

    "Islam it is."

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