Im jokes

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

To Drew the Devil,

We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.

Angry Alex

I know this is supposed to be an emo joke, but does anyone want to play Rocket League?

I'm on PS4, by the way!

My name: Box3d_by_Clapped

"I'm going to sue Disney. Not enough racism!" - Grizzy

Batman: I’m vengeance.

Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.

Batman: ...

Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.

I’m back, bitches!