Im jokes

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

What did the rapper say to the fridge? (Part 2)

“I'm HUNGRY for some BARS!"

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

Hi, I'm new here.

I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.

Pete: Knock, knock...

Paul: Who's there?

Pete: Boo...

Paul: Boo who?

Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!

Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

I'm ticked off by this tick joke!

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!

Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

I'm the joke, bitch.

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.