Im

Im jokes

Headphone

    • A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

    "My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

    And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

    "WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

    And so he did.

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    • Skeleton

    • Here are some skeleton jokes.

    You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

    If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

    I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

    I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

    I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

    I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

    I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

    Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

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    • Stab

    • "And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

    "You stabbed my brother!"

    "It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

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    • Job

    • I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

    "Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

    The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

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    • Im memes

    Snake

    • There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

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    • Kobe

    • Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

    Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

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    • N/A

    • I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.

    Old Man

    • An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

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    • Worm

    • I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

    About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

    I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

    Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

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    • Day

    • One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

    Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

    Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

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