Im jokes

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

im njdjfnjdjdj hello

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.