Im jokes

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?

A: "I'm calling your parents!"

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

"Ok!"

"Are you ok, man?"

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Dude, pull your pants back up!"

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??