Im jokes
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
Hi, I'm cool.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
I’m DaBaby.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.