Im jokes
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Hi, I'm cool.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
I’m DaBaby.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
I'm horny and gay.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!