Im jokes

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

A man and a child walk into a forest.

The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."

The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry.

(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas 🎄 and I have some Christmas.

I can't come in, because I'm too high.

What did the pig say when he was in the sun?

I'm bacon.