Ill jokes

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Roses are red, I like weed,

If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

IBC.

IBC who?

I'll be seeing you later.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.