Ill jokes
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6, I'll be the 9. 😏
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
Wordle be like (pt3)
Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.
STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛
FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚
MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚
YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚
2 7 73 53.
I'll give you time, figure it out.
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!