If jokes

Scientist

    • Here are 20 jokes for you:

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

    Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

    How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!

    Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!

    How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!

    Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

    What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

    What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!

    Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

    Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

    What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

    Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

    Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!

    Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!

    How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!

    What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!

    I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.

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    • Roblox

    • I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.

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    • Career

    • So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

    Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

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    • Guy

    • Are you guys alright?

    If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

    (This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

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    • If memes

    Rape

    • Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?

    Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."

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    • Africa

    • In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.

    At the end of the day, it's night.

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    • Firefighter

    • Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

    Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

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    • Babysitter

    • Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

    I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

    When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

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    • Orphan

    • If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?

    Years of child support!

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    • Male

    • Why would a Italian heterosexual male do for $100.00 if he was a prostitute that a polish american male would only do for a Klondike bar if he was a prostitute?

    suck a big cock.

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    • Child

    • My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

    If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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