If jokes

If there's a lieutenant, shouldn't there be a righttenant too? 🤔

If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.

"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Miss Drake."

"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."

"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."

If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.

I got kicked off Ancestry for asking if anyone wants to fuh.

If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?

If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."

I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.

The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"

Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?

If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?

I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.

If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?

I'm not sure if you have any feelings because everything about you seems very dull.

If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?

So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.

I said, "No, they don't have double doors."

Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.

3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.

Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"

Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"

Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."

Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.

Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"

Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"

In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.

She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."

The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."

Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.

What do women and appliances have in common?

If they don't work, hit them until they work.

If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.