If jokes
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!