If jokes

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.