If jokes

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.

Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.

(Like if you hate feminists.)

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.

If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?