Hygiene jokes
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Memes
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
My dick itches.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."