Hygiene jokes
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
You stink!
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.