Hygiene jokes
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Memes
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Why couldn't the toilet paper roll down the road?
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Shhhhhhhhhh who?
Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.