Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Hygiene Jokes
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Shhhhhhhhhh who?
Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
Ahh, the coronavirus!
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>
Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.