Humor
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Memes
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
My favorite joke is my life.
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
What do vacuums and your mom have in common?
They both suck.
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson