Humor
My favorite joke is my life.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
Memes
Why Bing is Superior tbh
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."