Humor

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."

When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?

Because they don't have soul.

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Why aren't koalas actual bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications.

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.