Humor
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
My favorite joke is my life.
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.