Humor
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.