Humor
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Why?
Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!
Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.
She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Your mom gay.
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?