Humor
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?
Son: No.
Dad: It hasn't come out yet.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
this is me
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*