Humor

Dad: 🦆

Kid: ?

Dad: 🦆🦆

Kid: Huh?

Dad: Ur too late...

Kid: WHAT!

Dad: .... GOOSE!

Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?

A: I'd hit that.

What is mail? Boring.

Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?

He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.

I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?

Ever heard of rape jokes?

No?

Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.

As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.

As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.

Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"

Your mom gay.

Uh oh, stinky!

Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.

What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.

"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor who?

This is funny.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

I farted. LOL.

"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.