Humor
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
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So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.