Humor

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

Stop making jokes about Kobe.

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.

I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.

What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

Stop! Stop the orphan jokers!

How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

This website is cruel and is NOT funny.

Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?

Tess: No!

Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!

Tess: Oh!

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I never knew them.

What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?

The Monkees and Gorillaz.

I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

"Peppa's ribs."

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"