My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Humor
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.
The only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes are his jokes.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always crack the case!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
