Humor

How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

This website is cruel and is NOT funny.

Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?

Tess: No!

Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!

Tess: Oh!

What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?

The Monkees and Gorillaz.

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I never knew them.

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

"Peppa's ribs."

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

Jokes are not funny.

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?

A train driver's egg sandwich.

Stop with the orphan jokes. We're running out of orphans to joke about.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

"Deznuts up your ass."