Humor

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Ho Lee Fuk.

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

Orphan joke protest idea.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

Professor Poopypants!!!

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ligma.

Ligma who?

Ligma bum crack!

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?

As fat as Ben Dingley.

When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

You cat to be kitten me right meow!