Humor

I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.

"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

"Ok!"

"Are you ok, man?"

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Dude, pull your pants back up!"

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat, you get fat.

What? Were you expecting a pi joke?

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

Me: So you two girls are from England?

Girls: Wales.

Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

How do you properly eat a vegetable?

You tip over the wheelchair.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.

The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!

Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?

Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.

What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.