Humor

What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

Orphan joke protest idea.

Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

Professor Poopypants!!!

I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?

Yu.

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

Stop making jokes about Kobe.