Humor

Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Ho Lee Fuk.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ligma.

Ligma who?

Ligma bum crack!

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

Professor Poopypants!!!

A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?

Yu.

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

Stop making jokes about Kobe.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.

I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.

What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.