Humor
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
My dick.
1 + 1 = window.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.