Humor

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.

What do you call a lying Mexican?

Pinocchico.

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!

What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?

"I'm wiped!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because there's too many jokes about Sally.

He jizzes canned cheese.

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?

A: A skele-TON.

Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?

Ei-lean.

Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?

He couldn't make it up the stairs.