Humor
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
So here's Uranus, where's my anus?
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!