Humor
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
Memes
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
He jizzes canned cheese.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.