Humor
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.