Humor
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.
We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
My dick.
1 + 1 = window.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.