Humor
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.