Humor
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!
Memes
The world is ending from: China
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
Cheesiest jokes.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.