Humor
Why tie when you can knot?
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."