Humor
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
What do you call a bad pun? The pun is not punny!
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call a PEIS?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."