Humor

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?

A: Loli-pops.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

"You getting kicked out, bro?"

"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

"Is she one of them woke bitches?"

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

Rape jokes are not funny.

Look at my name by the way😁.