Humor
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
I hate this website, lol.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
You're a big Z!
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.