Itself jokes

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

I wish my hair was depressed.

Cause then it would cut itself.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.

Why?

So it would cut itself.

What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.

What's great about an emo pizza?

It cuts itself. Yay!

Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.

Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

The only thing flat earthers have to fear...

... is a sphere itself.

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!