Humor

What's the difference between Autism and Gender?

Autism is on a spectrum.

I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.

I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

I tried to think of how lighting works.

Then it struck me!

What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit.

Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?

'Cuz he's the Father!!!

What planet has a butt? Uranus!

What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?

An earthquake.

An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"

What is an army member's top drink?

WARter.

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?

Poke me, mon.

How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?

They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"

What did the sun say to the Earth?

"Am I hot?"

It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"