Humor
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!