Humor
Jokes are not funny.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco