Humor

Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.

I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

What planet has a butt? Uranus!

An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"

What is an army member's top drink?

WARter.

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit.

Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?

'Cuz he's the Father!!!

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?

An earthquake.

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?

They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?

To keep its nuts dry.

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

I tried to think of how lighting works.

Then it struck me!

What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

What did the sun say to the Earth?

"Am I hot?"