Humor
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
What's Michael Jackson's nickname?
Nivea black and white.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.