Humor

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Why do poor people eat insects?

Because they're locust!

Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.

What do you call sweaty titties?

Humititties.

What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?

Web Cartoons!

Wanna hear a joke...

I don't know, I'm too high.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?

A fizzician.

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.

Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

How do you call a cute door?

A-door-able.

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper.

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.