So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
