Humor
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Why?
Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!
Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
Q: What do you call a funny midget?
A: Kevin
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.