Humor

I'd tell you a Kobe joke.

But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

2. You can't count your hair.

3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

4. You just tried number three.

5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

7. You skipped number 5.

8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!

What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?

It doesn’t have a home page.

Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.