I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Humor
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
