Humor
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.