Humor
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
I love fard 😋
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.