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Humor

Humor

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"

"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."

"I meant the ice cream, bro..."

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"

Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."