Humor
Jokes are not funny.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
Yo hairline caused corruption.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Their names were Johony and Papa.
All of the sudden, Johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on Roblox.