I told a joke and some1 said "no one asked" then i said "no one would care to even ask"
Me: Knock Knock
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
People need to stop taking life so seriously, after all, no one gets out alive!
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have? Because no one forgets it! :))
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
They told me I could never be an actor....
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
People judge me because im quiet
no one plans a massacre out loud
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."
When I woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats and eye, but when hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people loose their shit?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either
it’s just true
There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
why cant orphans be gay -they have no one to call daddy
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul walker and no one else
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him
