Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
Humor
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Yo hairline so bent even Bob the Builder can’t fix it!
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
