Humor
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.