Pedestrian jokes
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
Memes
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.