Humor
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
Dark humor.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.